god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
