Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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