A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
