Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I need to stop coming to work sober
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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