At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he shaved USA in his pubs
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
