So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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