Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
