Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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