You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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