Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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