He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
