she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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