In the future we'll all be gay
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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