Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
