i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
