I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
