So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
