why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
