Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
