i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Couch. On fire.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
