literally had 100 drinks last night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
