I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
