and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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