This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
