I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
