And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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