some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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