She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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