no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
