mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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