wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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