Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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