I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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