Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize