If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize