i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize