sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize