The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Randomize
