So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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Randomize
