So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
