Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
