it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
