I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you would pick up someone in the library
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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