I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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