Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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