I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
