Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize