THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
