the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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