I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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