He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
