I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The adults are the big ones right?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
