yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
