They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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