how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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