there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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