well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
