dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
