Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
