I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
