If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
