He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
